While Adlerian psychology has promoted the courage to be imperfect for almost 100 years (see previous blog post about the originator of this concept, Sofie Lazarsfeld), it is still a hard ideal to live up to. No one wants to admit weaknesses, no one wants to acknowledge a lack of awareness/ability/understanding, and no one wants to be seen as inadequate. How then are humans supposed to build and demonstrate this courage to be imperfect?
It's a great question! I'm not sure I have great answers or at least answers that make things easier to accomplish. That's a current human condition also - wanting things to be easy or easier. Learning something new or realizing that growth is needed even in something we've done for a long time always brings some discomfort - "what if I don't grasp this new concept?"; "why do I have to change the way I do this?"; "I'm scared of failing at this, that I won't be perfect." These may be the thoughts that course through our minds during this time of growth.
Perhaps by admitting to ourselves or to a trusted mentor that we have doubts or are needing assistance, support, or guidance, we can demonstrate the courage to be imperfect. Hopefully that request is met with compassion and further encouragement that we aren't expected to know everything and we are wise to ask for help. It makes sense that this positive interaction could show us that it's okay to admit we need assistance, which may increase the likelihood we could demonstrate the courage to be imperfect in the future.
The opposite reality does exist, however, where that trusted mentor tells us to figure it out on our own or that we should know this information already. This likely contributes to our hesitancy in the first place to display imperfection. In this scenario, we will still need to figure out a way forward because full retreat away from the situation is not likely to work out well for us either.
So might there be courage in this, too? Might we have to admit, even if just to ourselves that while we don't know this current answer we do have other experiences that may help. Recalling times when a certain skill or strength was useful may change the thoughts and feelings to growth-oriented ones. Also, remembering times when we struggled and overcame the struggle are useful when facing novel or challenging situations. We can be our own encourager in this way. Like most things in life, developing this courage takes practice, and practice makes progress (not perfect). Next time you're facing a tough situation or realizing you're holding yourself to overly high standards, dare to have the courage to be imperfect!
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